It All Started Six Years Ago

As I sit down tonight to write this post, a lot has happened in the last six years since November 19, 2016. A lot of good things. Some bad. But all part of life’s journey.

Today, we start another new adventure with the Foundation. Grant Murphy, who has been Executive Director of the Foundation since 2018, has now moved to Chicago and taken a position with a similar and wonderful military non-profit, the Pat Tillman Foundation. We are so proud of Grant in his new position and so proud of his leadership and the work he has done to better Nick’s Foundation over the entire six years, but especially as our leader for the past four years. Grant will be missed on a day to day basis, but he will remain on our Board of Directors and remain an Officer of the Foundation. It is a family affair after all for all of us. Thank you so much Grant.

This means I will resume my prior role as President of the Foundation and assume the responsibilities of its day to day operations. I will not do that alone. Besides Grant’s help, I will also have help from my ex-wife and Nick’s mother, Theresa Murphy, as well as Nick’s brother, Alec Murphy, Nick’s sister, Delaney Murphy and Grant’s wife, Maria Murphy. It is a labor of love for our family and we will continue to meet the challenges necessary to honor Nick Murphy.

The hard work comes from all of the wonderful attorneys, paralegals, legal assistants, and staff members at Murphy & Dunn. They do the real work. The legal work that makes a difference for these veterans and their family members. Who could have ever imagined that in less than six years we would have been able to open up 211 cases, do almost 10,000 total hours of legal work, and complete over $927,041 of free legal services in Nick’s honor. That is amazing and makes me so proud.

They never get credit, but these are the real heroes from our office: Jeff Dunn, Candice Thomason, Alec Murphy, Ben Mills and Nicole Slee as our attorneys. Lori Peters, Dina Johns, Mary Beth Guy, Nathan Paquet, Brooke Davis, Samantha Reason, Beth Dockendorff, Delaney Murphy and Breana Callear as paralegals. And Brandi Hogan, Dawn Bikin and Peyton Easton as our Admin team. I am so grateful to work with this team of people each and every day. They make us proud. They honor Nick Murphy. Every single day. And I could not thank all of them enough.

So as we move forward, we will keep doing what we do best. We help people. We care. We give it our best. We make sacrifices. We commit ourselves to excellence. And just maybe Nick Murphy will be looking down on us and be proud of us. Be proud of what we are doing. Just like we are so proud of him.

For more information on the legal work being performed, go to Murphy & Dunn, P.C. at www.murphy-dunn.net.

FOUR YEARS SEEMS LIKE A LIFETIME

Today is the 4th Anniversary of Nick Murphy’s tragic death on November 19, 2016 in Pensacola, Florida. In many respects, I remember it like it was yesterday. Moments of pure agony seared into my brain that will never go away. In many other respects, it seems like that was a lifetime ago, in a different universe, in a different life. Just like today’s pandemic world, there is a new normal and it will never be the same. We will adjust and adapt today, just like the Murphy family and all those who loved Nick Murphy have done the last four years. However, no matter what happens, it still hurts. And that is the way it should be because that is the price of love. To truly love someone, especially the love a parent has for a child, is a risky proposition. When you love your children like you do, there will always be a risk of them being hurt, them failing, or some other disparate treatment that you as the parent will live vicariously through and with them. It hurts when your child suffers. Nothing more hurtful than the ultimate suffering of death because they are not supposed to die before you.

So what do you do? Do you stop living. Stop being a parent to your other children. Stop being a spouse. Stop being a friend or family member. Stop working or running your company or whatever life responsibilities you still have. No. You do not stop. In fact, just the opposite. You run faster, try harder, work harder, be better. You “Be the Man in the Arena”. No matter how hard it is or what it takes because that is how you honor your loved one. That is how you be the best father, mother, husband, wife, friend, or boss you can be. That is how you survive and get through each day. Because if you don’t, life only stops for you. For everyone else, the world is still spinning and there is life to lead and family and friends to be there for.

Four years is a lifetime ago. Yes, it truly is. And maybe that is ok. Because all we have is the present. The past is in our memories and can never be taken away from us. Nick Murphy will never be forgotten, just like all of our loved ones that have passed before us. Just like my mother, Dolores Murphy, who recently died on June 19, 2020, or my father-in-law, Jerry Brodeur, who passed on December 19, 1997 when Nick was just six months old. Or Theresa’s younger sister Debbie Brodeur, who died in January, 1986 just four months after Theresa and I met. All of them will live on in our hearts and minds as long as we remember them and honor them by our actions in making our lives the best it can possibly be. They want us to be the best version of ourselves we can be. They would not want it any other way.

So here I sit four years later. A lifetime it seems, but really only four short years. And what has happened in those short four years. EVERYTHING. Because that is real life. It is messy and it is great. In the end, it is what you make of it. In my case, I choose to make it good. Why, because the alternative focus does me no good. Looking at the positive allows me and all of us to survive and thrive. Looking at the bad just makes life miserable. And there is enough misery to go around. So let’s focus on the good.

Four years is a life time. Why, because in just these last four years, life continued to happen and it is a whole new world. Especially for the Murphy family. And for that I am proud and overjoyed with happiness. Because that is who I care about the most, especially those wonderful Murphy children. They are the future, long after Theresa and I are gone, and I am happy to report that they are strong. So strong. So smart. So happy. And most importantly, so full of love. Thank you God for helping my children get through this and for finding love. Grant and Maria, Alec and Ellie, Laney and Peyton. Love is what it is all about. Risking everything to find love. The love of your life. The love of children. The love of family ands friends. And the love of God making it all happen. Take a deep breath today and be happy. It really is good.

Thank you God for allowing me to personally survive and allowing my family and friends to thrive. Thank you for allowing Theresa and I to find the combined strength, individually and together, to get through this thing we call “life” together. Thank you for allowing us to be the best versions of ourselves we can be, despite the trials and tribulations that come our way. Than you God for allowing us to honor You through all of our deeds, words and actions and for You taking care of our loved ones that get to hang out with You before we do. Take care of all of them and say hi for us. We will see them again. Until then, there is work to do down here and we intend to do it. There is life to live. And most importantly, as you taught us the most, there is love to give. God is love. And I for one am happy I found God and risked love. That is what life is all about.

IT IS OK TO BE HAPPY

I had an epiphany last week that:

IT IS OK TO BE HAPPY.

For four years I think I have felt guilty to be happy. Nick died and I should be sad the rest of my life.

If you watch the news, America sucks and we are the worst place in the world to live. If you read Facebook, one-half the people literally believe America sucks.

So last week I read “To Hell and Back” by Audie Murphy and realized all of us have it great, no matter what small problems we might think we have.

So, I thought to myself, “It is ok to be happy”. And that is how I believe the majority of Americans can live. America not only doesn’t suck, it is awesome. And why, in part because of all the great young men and women like Nick who believe that America is worth not only fighting for, but dying for.

I am proud to be an American, no matter what good or bad things happen. You should be too. Who cares who is President. Shouldn’t we all want the country and all of its people to succeed. Just imagine where we could be if 1/2 the country wasn’t fighting the other 1/2 all the time. It is not us v them.

We are all “us.”

God, thank you. There is no other place or time I would rather be.

Have a great day everyone, no matter who you are, where you live, what color you are, what religion you are or if you are atheist. That is the beauty of America. We all get to be here and say and do whatever we want, and if we disagree, we can disagree openly and without killing each other on the streets. That is why I have a job. For people to solve their problems peaceably and properly in Court.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I choose to be happy and to be the best I can be today. That makes me happy.

I choose to love life because I have been given this life by God, whether it is for one more day or 30 years. I choose not to ruin my day by watching garbage on TV, or reading stupid arguments on Facebook. I have a life to live. I have a wife to love. I have three beautiful children to love and watch as they follow in our footsteps and live a great life. I have friends to be thankful for. And I have an office to run that does nothing but help people.

So I choose to be happy and go “Be the Man in the Arena” today and everyday. I might fail, but I am sure going to love life and those I have in my life.

Have a great day. Please don’t comment with  a negative comment. All it does is bring you down for no reason. Look around. Take the good and run with it. Life is overall pretty great.

Ed